I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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