yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This baby is an asshole
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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