i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
