Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
