i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
