You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm getting married
To pizza
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
