But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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