made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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