I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
