I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
