He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
