so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
