So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
