it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
