I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
