ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
