is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
