I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
my poor anus
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
