I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
