My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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