So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
