when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
