i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
