can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
