I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
