he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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