no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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