Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
