Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
third nipple confirmed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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