that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
