Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
