he thought i was a dude.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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