Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
