My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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