I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
