I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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