Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
