Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
