Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
