Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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