4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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