i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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