Christians are straight up FREAKS
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
