I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
