She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
