I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Terrible idea I love it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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