He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
