he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
