anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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