Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
